Friday, January 1, 2016

Keeping New Year's Resolutions & Making Your Dreams Come True

I'm not a New Year's resolutions person. I don't make them. I don't keep them. The vast majority of people who do make resolutions today will have abandoned them in a matter of months.

But the statistics don't matter. The resolutions don't matter. You and I can still improve our lives by making better choices.

Here are 5 ways I plan to change my life in 2016:

1. Believe that success is possible. 

Believe it with all your heart. Visualize it clearly and banish all your doubts. Believe in what you can do and don't stop for anything. Above all, don't quit. Keep the vision of your goals in your mind and get going. Dare to be an ordinary person making extraordinary choices.

2. Get outside your comfort zone.

Challenge yourself and set goals that inspire you. Stop playing it safe. It can be uncomfortable to pursue your dreams. Watching TV is much easier, but entertainment and social media can be stealing from your dreams. Challenging goals inspire and energize us. Overcoming obstacles and fears gives us the chance to rise above our past selves, our mistakes and failures. Challenges can show you who you are and make you stronger.

3. Learn from the Past.

Mistakes can be valuable lessons. You failures have the ability to make you better than you were before. If you learn from them. Learn. Move on. And never let your past define you. Ernest Hemingway said, "There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man. True nobility is being superior to your former self." Figure out how to achieve your goals in your way and treat yourself kindly. There's no such thing as too many mistakes. You can become who you truly are, who you are meant to be.

4. Be specific.

Setting clear and specific goals allows you to focus. Measure your progress. Tell people what you are doing. Write it down. Keep a journal starting today. And figure out ways to integrate what you need to do into your daily life. To change a habit, replace it with another one. Instead of a goal like "I'll write more every day." set a specific time, "I'll write every day between x o'clock and y o'clock." Set clear and specific goals, be committed, track your progress and remember what works and what doesn't.

5. Think about your motivation.

You can set goals but think about exactly why they are important to you. If you are not clear why you are doing something it's easy to lose steam. Connect with what you want and with what's at stake. What do you gain if you succeed? Your motivation is yours alone. Don't blame others, don't blame your situation, don't blame your age or anything that seems to hold you back, that gives away your control over yourself. You might be very skilled at coping with the situation you're in, but don't settle for enduring when you have the capacity to grow. You don't need to look to others for support or even for encouragement if you know what you want, why you want it and you keep your vision. You design your destiny.

I'm embarking on a self-publishing journey. I've started or been a part of several unsucessful start-up businesses in the past. Some petered out and some were spectacular failures. One was even a huge success that was stolen by corporate raiders. But I figure I've done things just about all the wrong ways I could. Now it's time to get it right. I've always felt that I could be a writer and I know I have stories to tell. So, this is the one. This is my time. Let it be yours, too. 

Thursday, December 31, 2015

LFT - Looking for Tribe

My cousin sent me a mini interview thing on Facebook today and it got me thinking about why people love these things so much. Now, I'm lucky enough to have a whole bunch of wonderful people as family that I would be friends with if we weren't related. I definitely won the relatives lottery, and I adore them. I shared my list of things with my cousin and enjoyed reading hers. Here are the questions:

-Bath or shower?
-Straight or curly hair?
-Favorite movie?
-Favorite holiday?
-Best year in HS?
-# of serious relationships(over 1 yr)?
-Android or iPhone?
-Texting or call?
-Facebook or twitter?
-Favorite type of food?
-Dream job?
-Favorite pizza?
-Favorite cake?
-Talking or fighting?
-Night or day?
-Summer or winter?
-Wine or whiskey?
-Makeup or no makeup?
-Favorite TV show?
-Hair up or down?
-Jeans or leggings?
-Painted or not painted nails?
-Favorite color?
-T-shirt or dress shirt?
-Flip flops or sneakers?
-Big purse or small?
-How many tattoos?
-How many piercings?
-Diamonds or pearls?
-Favorite animal?
-Rap or country music?
-Sports or couch?

I realize that one reason we love doing these is that everyone loves talking about themselves and loves attention. Why else is social media so popular. But it occurred to me that there's another reason as well. I don't know about you but I'm almost always really busy. There's more to get done every day than I can possibly do. And it doesn't leave as much time as I used to have to get together with friends or go to events. Even though I still have a pleasently wide circle of incredible friends. The isolation is even worse since I work at home. So it's more important than ever, but also easier, to connect with people I have some sort of affinity with. I need to feel like I'm a part of my tribe.

I remember hearing a statistic that the invention of the telephone helped to reduce levels of depression in farmer's wives, a condition that was once called 'Prairie Madness." I really understand that. I remember hearing the story of how my mother's mother had been a nurse and midwife, a vital part of her community, when the family lived north of Houston, Texas. People in need or the doctor would come by at all hours to get her help. When my grandfather, not a man to be questioned, moved the family hundreds of miles away to an isolated farm in south Texas she suffered from depression so acute that she was sent to an asylum in Austin and given shock treatments. I'm sure she was never the same again. The poor woman lost her place in society, lost her friends. She lost her tribe.

I'm a writer and illustrator, so in other words, I communicate for a living. It's so important in my life to connect with people. I love to meet unusual people, people from foreign countries and different backgrounds because I love discovering how alike we are. It seems like I always find something in common with everyone. It's exciting. But being with a group of friends or family is like slipping into a warm bath. Comforting and even life-affirming.

These days we have more opportunities than ever to connect with people, though I realize it's mostly on a surface level. I still enjoy the connecting and look forward to meeting people in person as often as I can. Being connected to people I have things in common with makes me feel more secure and definitely enriches my life. What about you? Do you feel like you belong to a tribe? Is it mostly family or friends? What connects you? I'd love to know. And if you'd like to answer the questions, I'd love to read your answers.

Here's my list of answers, just FYI:

-Bath or shower? Both. Daily shower and periodic luxurious baths. with all the girly fixins.
-Straight or curly hair? Wavy
-Favorite movie? Impossible to choose. Maybe I could narrow it down to a hundred or so. I love movies.
-Favorite holiday? Halloween
-Best year in HS? Freshman, though actually none. HS was pretty horrible, mostly because of my parents' divorce and a difficult home life.
-# of serious relationships(over 1 yr)? 7. 3 of those lasted over 5 years. I'm a serial monogamist.
-Android or iPhone? iPhone
-Texting or call? Both... but texting
-Facebook or twitter? Both... but Facebook
-Favorite type of food? Tex Mex
-Dream job? I'm doing it. Now if only it paid better.
-Favorite pizza? Marguerita
-Favorite cake? Ice cream.
-Talking or fighting? Talking, please!
-Night or day? Carpe Noctem
-Summer or winter? Spring!
-Wine or whiskey? Prosecco
-Makeup or no makeup? Mostly none, but I make an effort when I go out.
-Favorite TV show? Of all time? Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Firefly. Anything Joss Whedon, I suppose.
-Hair up or down? Up for working, down the rest of the time.
-Jeans or leggings? Jeans
-Painted or not painted nails? Both, but mostly not.
-Favorite color? Aqua-T
-shirt or dress shirt? T-shirt, usually with a video game related picture.
-Flip flops or sneakers? Flip flops around the house, sneakers for longer walks.
-Big purse or small? Small, always fairly compact. I have none if I could.
-How many tattoos? None, yet. I can't decide.
-How many piercings? 4
-Diamonds or pearls? I dislike diamonds and the historical De Beers monopoly and manipulation of society, so pearls.
-Favorite animal? I love all animals, but If I had to pick one, a horse.
-Rap or country music? Some of both. I have very eclectic music tastes.
-Sports or couch? Depends on the sport, I don't own a couch

Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Bali Research!

I've been doing some very enjoyable research on locations in Bali where parts of Man Made to Order take place. What a beautiful country!

Here are a couple of videos I especially liked:

Cute Surfer boys on Serangan beach!

Roads lined with Penjors and flags.

Wednesday, September 30, 2015

The Eternal Love Machine series

I'm working on a romantic five part series about a pleasure droid and his owner. It's a great love story encompassing action, adventure and exotic locations as well as plenty of steamy erotic love scenes. I'm currently on Part 4. I couldn't be more pleased with how it's turning out. I plan to release it this fall, first on and later on other services.

Here's an excerpt from the first part:

Man Made to Order

By Victoria Kinkade
The Eternal Love Machine Series, Part 1

Can a beautiful, successful but lonely woman really find true happiness with an artificial being? The question is, how could she not? He’s been made to order especially for her. 

One - Arrival 

My first thought when I opened the door was, “That’s a big box.” 

Two delivery men stood in front of my house on the expansive terrace ringed with privacy panels displaying a scenic view that masked the upper Manhattan parkway beyond. I opened the double doors and they wheeled in a sleek, white shoulder-high crate that slipped smoothly across the subtly-lit fused glass floor of the foyer. My body surprised me. Tingles of excitement travelled up my spine. I rubbed my arms as gooseflesh broke out under my designer blouse.

“Do you want us to uncrate your merchandise, Ma'am?” one of the men asked.

“No, that’s fine,” I said as I hurriedly scrawled my signature on  the tablet. I shooed the delivery men out, closed and locked the luxurious mahogany doors behind them and turned to the box. To my surprise I actually trembled slightly.

He’s here!

I had fantasized about this day for months, staring at the composite pictures of the model I chose, dreaming about what it would be like when he arrived. I’d pictured myself tearing into the box in a frenzy. But now that he was here, right here in my home I hesitated, almost afraid to open it. What if the product didn’t live up to the hype? What if this ended up as another bitter disappointment? 

I gave myself a mental slap. It’s very unlike me to be tentative. I didn’t get where I am by being shy. I’m decisive and confident in my interactions with people, especially men. Which makes dating surprisingly difficult. Men say they want a woman who’s sure of herself and knows what she wants, but in my experience, they really don’t. Plus I’m more successful than most of the men I meet. Intimidating.

Admittedly, that’s only part of my problem. No man has ever met my high standards, unfortunately. And at this point I’m just weary of the game. My last relationship ended over a year ago, a total disaster. After that I felt like giving up on men entirely. I kept myself busy, but no matter how I occupied my life it was small comfort through long nights lying awake alone.

Which meant I was an easy mark, a peach ripe for picking when I saw the exclusive brochure on my personal contact panel. Selling love, or a reasonable facsimile thereof. A man, made to order. Not a doll. Not a mere robot. But the latest advance in android technology. A perfect man custom made for me and only me. It was expensive. It cost more than my new electric self-driving luxury car and was only offered to a very select clientele, but satisfaction was guaranteed.

I took a deep breath and reached for the latches on the side of the crate. My hand shook ever so slightly as I released the catches. The side swung out like a door, heavily padded on the inside with sensuous red fabric.

And there he was. 

He looked so real. He sat on a padded bench built into the crate. His eyes were closed. I was suddenly grateful for that. I took in his tanned skin tone, the light brown hair streaked with gold that curled about his face and neck, the wide sensuous lips set in a strong handsome face. It was amazing. He looked so real. I found myself glancing at his chest to see if he was breathing. I expected to see it rise and fall. That’s how perfect he seemed.

He was fully dressed in a soft, deep red shirt and stylish designer jeans with black boots. A warm, rich smell of exotic spices and vetiver wafted from the box. I breathed deeply, drawing in the voluptuous scent. On a leather thong around his neck a round pendant pulsed with an ethereal blue light. I reached out my hand and touched it. 

When he opened his eyes it was like something magical lit the room. He smiled at me, deepening the illusion. I couldn’t help but return his charming smile. His lips parted slowly.

“I had no idea you’d be so beautiful.” He said in a deep, musical voice.

I opened my mouth to reply but no sound came out. I couldn’t remember the last time I was at a loss for words. I stepped back and he rose gracefully to his feet and emerged from the box. He stood looking down at me with hypnotic aquamarine eyes that evoked clear tropical seas. I stared into them, fascinated, feeling as though I could drown in those eyes. They narrowed with a subtle hint of mischief as his smile widened. “Will you at least tell me my name?”

I laughed, partly with relief and partly with delight. He tilted his head, raising his eyebrows questioningly. 

“I was thinking of Bryce.”

“Bryce,” he said, trying it out, rolling the word on his tongue as though tasting it. He smiled broadly, a smile that melted hearts like chocolate on a tongue. “Bryce is nice and will suffice.” He winked.

I I laughed again, shaking my head in wonder. No doubt about it, he was a quality product. “Thirty seconds and you’re already composing poetry.”

He nodded as he gave me a small bow. “At every opportunity.” He turned those miraculous eyes on me again. “Unless you have an objection.”

“Oh no!” I assured him. “I'm Leah.”

“Have you had time to answer the confidential questionnaire, Leah?” he asked, getting down to business.

“I did.” I smiled, nodding.

“I can connect to it wirelessly over your network if you give me the password.” 

“Of course. The password is, rapture.”

He continued to gaze at me as though he were drinking in every detail. He was also accessing the files but he seemed completely focused on me. His eyes roamed boldly over my face and body and the way his mouth lifted at the corners seemed to indicate appreciation. His attention was having an effect. I felt uncertain, even awkward under his scrutiny but there was a thrill in the pit of my stomach, too. I studied him back, very pleased with what I saw.

“This information will provide a beginning for me to understand you. I hope to be everything you want.” He tilted his head again, his face suddenly serious. “You seem to be a demanding woman who does not suffer fools wasting her time. I like that.”

He reached out to stroke my hair. Could he feel its texture? Did he have sensation built into his hands? I touched his face. It was warm and soft. It felt like skin, maybe even better. Velvety and smooth with a hint of downy brown stubble scattered along the edge of his chin. He gathered a handful of my hair in his hand and pulled me toward him. He bent to kiss me hungrily and I found myself responding. 

Any uncertainty melted away. He filled my mind and my senses. The taste of him was unlike anything I’d ever experienced. It was reminiscent of cinnamon and wine and sweet cream. His smell was a wonderful melange of spice and musk and whisky, subtle and fiercely masculine.

“I want you,” he whispered, his voice deep and husky. Those words stirred something deep inside me. I gasped under the force of my feelings. Coals that I normally kept carefully banked in most aspects of my busy daily life suddenly kindled into a warm glow. I felt my controlled facade sluicing off of me like a warm shower as I relaxed into his embrace. It was so easy. Why was this so easy? It was almost impossible to let myself go like this with any of the men I dated. I was always hyper-aware of how they perceived me or the situation. I became distracted by what they were feeling or thinking.

I slid my hands up under his silky shirt, feeling the soft texture of his skin over a firm underlying musculature. He felt real and yet strangely unreal, more like a virgin’s fantasy of a man than a real one. It was so different, so unexpected. Strange and provocative. 

He slid his hands over my body, every nerve ending lit by their passing. It felt almost as if a faint electric current pulsed from them. Did it? Could they do that? He touched my body with a kind of fascination.

“Your skin is so soft, so lovely.” His voice held a trace of awe. His hands flowed over my body and he buried his face in my hair. His mouth found my throat and he kissed my neck sucking softly at my skin. He nibbled gently on my earlobe moving his teeth around my ruby earring. Spritely sparks of delight tickled my spine.

The combination of sensations seemed almost overwhelming. A desperate passion surged inside of me inspiring abandon. I touched the buckle of his pants and they seemed to slide away. Some clever automatic system, no doubt. A perfect erect cock rose from their confines and Bryce pressed it against me. That hard softness against my stomach filled me with a violent longing. I needed to have him inside me.

“Leah,” he said, low and sensual. My heart fluttered.

His hands pulled up my tight suit skirt and yanked down my lacy panties. The air against my pussy made me realize that I was wet with excitement. I kicked out of my underwear. Was that music I heard? I recognized a romantic song from one of my playlists but I couldn’t tell where it was coming from. My flesh against his body heated up and the music rose in volume. It seemed to throb and vibrate through me. 

“Fuck me now,” I breathed.

“Mmm, gladly.” He gripped my backside with firm, strong hands and lifted me effortlessly. I wrapped my legs around him. His member moved beneath me all on its own, seeking sanctuary, finding its intended home. When his hard cock parted my outer lips he rocked his hips to thrust deep into me. I gasped with the shock of penetration. It was an exquisite invasion, hot and urgent, perfectly matching my own desire.

He drove into me faster and harder, plunging his shaft deeper and deeper. His member seemed to swell and lengthen with each thrust, until it stretched me to the point of bursting. The delicious pain at the apex of each thrust was thrilling, euphoric.

Through the haze of pleasure and the spice of pain yet another new feeling penetrated my awareness. A twisting sensation, a vibration deep inside me, caused my body to arch with ecstasy as the world seemed to fade away completely. I was no longer aware of the elegant foyer around us or the rich wood paneling and art on my walls. My world became entirely, intensely, Bryce. My consciousness narrowed, focusing on him and the sensations I was experiencing. I opened my eyes and gazed into his––fearlessly, comfortably––fascinated by the azure depths and the soft, subtle glow in them. 

I was lost in a sea of overwhelming ecstasy. Passion took me under as I sank below its waves. It seemed to go on and on until I could stand no more. I felt my climax start to build inside me, the warm ache in my loins growing in intensity and scope until it broke, surging pleasure rocking me to my core. I shuddered and bucked helplessly in response. Bryce held me against him with strong arms that I felt would never let me fall. Still connected we slowly sank to the floor, the cool glass surface tempering the heat of my skin.

I felt physically spent but also energized by the force of the orgasm I’d just undergone. I looked wonderingly at Bryce’s handsome face. He smiled that winning smile again, the countenance of a champion fresh from victory. A gentle conqueror enjoying the complete and willing subjugation of his thrall. I smiled back in utter, joyous defeat.

“That was amazing,” I marveled.

My own abandon shocked me. I’d never completely surrendered control, given myself up to anyone else in a state of delirium like that. It was slightly disorienting. A curious anomaly. It made me wonder. Why? What was so different?

Realization washed over me. I was in control. I own this amazing creation. He is designed and built especially for me. He quite literally exists for me. The freedom that I felt in response to that was completely new. I liked it.

Bryce smiled at me and winked. “That was merely an initial baseline. You haven't seen anything yet.”

Saturday, July 4, 2015

Lust of the Devil

I've been working hard on a new book, Lust of the Devil. 

When a group of kids travel to the famous Pine Barrens of New Jersey to make a student film things start getting sexy. But the girls are kidnapped and subjected to the unnatural lusts of the New Jersey Devil. One girl, Kiri, will have to use all her wits to help her and her friends escape the monster and the vast Pine Barrens wilderness. But will she want to?

Soon to be available on

Warning: This is quite a naughty book. So if the idea of kinky carnal (though not charnel) relations with cryptozoological creatures offends you, this may not be a chronicle you’ll cotton to. If, however you find such craziness intriguing, then by all means indulge yourself.